Not one bite.
Not two bites.
Three bites. THREE FRACKING BITES!
When I went to pick up Peanut from school today, I was presented with the now painfully familiar day care incident report form (in triplicate) informing me that my little darling bit her classmate three times today. Seriously...one bite wasn’t enough? I know Peanut tends toward the dramatic - like her daddy - but even this is a bit much for me. Her teacher tried to soften the blow by telling me, “in Peanut’s defense” her classmate took a crayon that Peanut was using. Last week, her defense was that a classmate tried to take away a book that Peanut was reading.
Seriously - there is no defense for biting. For a child who knows the words “no” and “mine” - and certainly has no trouble screaming at the top of her lungs, biting is completely unacceptable. So why does she resort to biting the grabby hands in her class to express her anger/annoyance/frustration?
Explaining that to Peanut, however, has been something of a challenge. Each time I tell her that biting is “not nice” or to “use her words” in my “I’m not playing around voice”, she flashes me with a smile from ear to ear. Clearly not the response I was hoping for. And while I know that this is a developmental hurdle she will need to overcome, it drives me crazy to know we have become that family - the parents of a biter!
In the interest of full disclosure, I suppose I should reveal that this isn’t a new situation. Peanut has been exercising her chompers on human flesh since she first started teething - but now that she has a full set of teeth her biting has reached a whole new level of pain for the person on the receiving end of her snapping jaw. A little vampire all our own - True Blood for the toddler set.
When I lived in NYC, I worked as a camp director for a time, and I can remember speaking to a parent whose 3 year old had developed a reputation for biting. I recall how anguished she seemed when she approached me to discuss it, and while I did my best to hear her and develop a plan of action to address any "bitings", I really did not understand the full extent of her situation: the feelings of helplessness, frustration, and a sense that the biting reflects poorly on your parenting skills. And the other parents (moms, sorry) made their feelings about the biter painfully obvious, as only NYC parents can, effectively demanding that the child be moved to a different class.
Our one saving grace is that Peanut’s day care has a strict confidentiality policy as it relates to biting...thank god! So I don’t expect to be dodging a witch hunt any time soon. At the same time, this is a serious problem that we need to address. Any suggestions, readers?
Not two bites.
Three bites. THREE FRACKING BITES!
When I went to pick up Peanut from school today, I was presented with the now painfully familiar day care incident report form (in triplicate) informing me that my little darling bit her classmate three times today. Seriously...one bite wasn’t enough? I know Peanut tends toward the dramatic - like her daddy - but even this is a bit much for me. Her teacher tried to soften the blow by telling me, “in Peanut’s defense” her classmate took a crayon that Peanut was using. Last week, her defense was that a classmate tried to take away a book that Peanut was reading.
Seriously - there is no defense for biting. For a child who knows the words “no” and “mine” - and certainly has no trouble screaming at the top of her lungs, biting is completely unacceptable. So why does she resort to biting the grabby hands in her class to express her anger/annoyance/frustration?
Explaining that to Peanut, however, has been something of a challenge. Each time I tell her that biting is “not nice” or to “use her words” in my “I’m not playing around voice”, she flashes me with a smile from ear to ear. Clearly not the response I was hoping for. And while I know that this is a developmental hurdle she will need to overcome, it drives me crazy to know we have become that family - the parents of a biter!
In the interest of full disclosure, I suppose I should reveal that this isn’t a new situation. Peanut has been exercising her chompers on human flesh since she first started teething - but now that she has a full set of teeth her biting has reached a whole new level of pain for the person on the receiving end of her snapping jaw. A little vampire all our own - True Blood for the toddler set.
When I lived in NYC, I worked as a camp director for a time, and I can remember speaking to a parent whose 3 year old had developed a reputation for biting. I recall how anguished she seemed when she approached me to discuss it, and while I did my best to hear her and develop a plan of action to address any "bitings", I really did not understand the full extent of her situation: the feelings of helplessness, frustration, and a sense that the biting reflects poorly on your parenting skills. And the other parents (moms, sorry) made their feelings about the biter painfully obvious, as only NYC parents can, effectively demanding that the child be moved to a different class.
Our one saving grace is that Peanut’s day care has a strict confidentiality policy as it relates to biting...thank god! So I don’t expect to be dodging a witch hunt any time soon. At the same time, this is a serious problem that we need to address. Any suggestions, readers?
Sounds silly, but at Daphne's daycare, they give the biter a 'biting pillow' and tell them that if they want to bite a friend, they should bite their pillow instead. Not that I want dear Miss M to be labeled a 'pillow biter' at this tender age... and believe me, I had to suppress giggles when I heard of this... but it seemed to work for the biter in her class. Good luck! xoxo, Beth
ReplyDeleteI don't know Beth - there is nothing worse than being the class pillow biter...
ReplyDeleteOn second thought.