Halloween has always held a special place in my heart. I didn’t get invited to many Halloween
parties growing up, and I hate horror films – and yet I always get excited when
October 31 rolls around. Must be the
candy corn.
I also love to dress up – I think it’s the actor in me (have
to put that worthless BFA degree to use somehow).
As a teenager, I remember dressing up in drag for Halloween, complete
with wig and falsies, which really should have been a red flag for my parents. And in college, I scrounged up this amazing
navy seamen uniform from the Salvation Army…it even had the name of its original
owner written in the inseam in permanent marker. I got
more than a few lusty looks in that getup.
As a parent the excitement intensifies – for those first few
years of their life, you get to dress them up for Halloween in whatever
ridiculous outfit you choose (not so different from day to day life with an
infant, really).
Maybe it was a cop out, but for her first Halloween, Peanut
was scarcely one month old – so I dressed her up as a baby. In her onesie. With her pacifier. (Just to make sure we are all on the same
page….she wasn’t wearing a costume). Every
time the bell rang, I skittered to the door, candy bowl in hand. And what was the first question I got? “What is she dressed up as?” COME ON PEOPLE! She’s a baby!
It doesn't show a lack of Halloween spirit – I just didn’t want to
wrestle a three week old into a polyester pea pod or a lycra ladybug. Had Peanut been able to, I know she would
have thanked me.
For her second Halloween, we decided to do something simple,
and picked up a fuzzy giraffe costume.
We have some delicious pictures of her cuddling with Peter and rolling
on the floor – which is amazing because I think she spent a grand total of 3
minutes in that outfit.
Now my husband likes to get his money’s worth, so this year,
Peter suggested we recycle the giraffe…and I initially (read: reluctantly) agreed. But when we did a little dry run, it just
wasn’t as cute as I remembered it. The
ears are all floppy and flaccid, the fur is matted (year old yogurt, perhaps?),
and it has the most unflattering hips…like enormous shoulder pads glued to the
waist. I wonder how she made it through
a doorway, they are that large. Peanut
wasn’t pleased with it either. So we
decided to check out our options at the local Target.
And that, my friends, was an exercise in futility. You see, if you are a little girl, your
choices at Target are fairly limited.
Basically, you have one of the following three options:
-You can be a slutty cat
-You can be a slutty witch, or
-You can be a slutty princess
While the boys get to be superheroes and wizards, the girls
get some version of a short skirt, halter top, fishnets, and heels. Is this Halloween or 2 for 1 night at the
stripper bar? Our daughter, the Halloween hooker - every parents wildest dream! I was hoping for a more
aspirational choice – like a doctor or a lawyer (a miniature faux leather briefcase
for her candy – trick or treat, indeed!). Peanut is only two – and she has plenty of time to show off her
navel. Plus, this is the northeast in
October – the only people who dress in their underpants in fifty degree weather
do so because all they have is underpants!
We did end up finding a delicious doctor costume online (and I was very specific about this...doctor, not nurse...no disrespect to nurses) –
white lab coat, blue scrubs, and stethoscope.
It is absolutely darling, and assuming she agrees to wear it, we will be
all set.
As for the slutty princess, maybe
I judged it too harshly. After all, I
don’t have a costume yet.
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